This is something I’ve been sitting with a lot. This is a strange time. It’s weird to be masked and not hugging people. Zoom yoga classes are weird when everyone turns their videos off and I can’t see them (which is totally fine, I get it … I’m so used to teaching from what I see). ✨
Anxiety comes up and I question everything I’m doing. I begin to question who am I to be trying to offer/guide yoga, one-on-one’s, anything when I feel like a mess most of the time while I wander around trying to find my path. I question my worth in our Vinyasa Productions offerings, our new online portal, all my trainings I am in, everything. ✨
Who the fuck am I to think I have something to contribute to the world, or offer someone I connect with an idea or a tool to try on and see if it helps. ✨
And then I practice yoga, meditate, pull some cards and am reminded that I am just showing up each day the best I can. I’m offering these tools to others because at some point they have helped me. Because if even just one person feels better from something I’ve shared, it’s worth it. Because I feel the drive to be of service to others. And because they are my passions and if I suppress them and try to do something different my whole Being falls out of alignment.
So, it’s not about avoiding the fear or anxiety, but about facing it head on and allowing it to teach you something. It’s uncomfortable sitting with these types of emotions in this way, but when we take the time to look beneath them, around them, in them, and over them we eventually are able to find our way through them. The shadow frequency is one that we tend to avoid because of the discomfort it may cause. But, in so many ways, our shadows are hidden gems of transformational insight, when we choose to look at them.
This has been a time of fear and spiritual transformation. Overall however, it has been about working my way out of my cocoon. I have chosen each day to wake up and meditate, to practice yoga, and explore this path now under my feet. This has been a lifelong intention … and now it’s asking for my Attention (thank you energies of the South and a journey with Katherine Skaggs). My passions and dreams are asking for me to tend to them. And this realization has been the most transformative. The time is here to ignore distractions and to see if I can live a passionate, yet sustainable and supportive, life. ✨
Has this been a transformational time for you too?