We are light beings
I was stuck in a dark place for a really long time. I’m only just realizing how deep it was as I pull myself out of it. I was an angry, hurt, metal head who raged and was caught in a vicious abusive cycle. I had been stripped of my self-worth, my intuition, and my power. I was caught between “love” and fear. I had too intimate of a relationship with alcohol to help numb me to the pain I was feeling. I was suffocating from the turmoil of “knowing that I knew better than to be in the cycle I was in” and yet couldn’t figure out how to pull myself out of it. I didn’t want more pain; but, I knew I didn’t want to fall any deeper and needed something healthy to focus on while my heart healed a bit and I did some soul searching.
It was in the middle of this time that I enrolled in teacher training. This wasn’t the first time that yoga had held this space for me. It has and continues to save me over and over again. I began to hear the phrase We are Light Beings more and more as I deepened into my yoga teacher training. I just didn’t get it though. It sounded too … New Age … and didn’t “fit” with the black/doom/symphonic/death metal vibes I was immersed in. I loved the idea of it and could see those who were an embodiment of light. But I wasn’t a light worker, I was a being of the dark. “I didn’t fall from the sky, I crawled up from below.”
Fast forward a few years and I had finally managed to leave the situation that was causing the cycle of negativity. I dropped alcohol and metal music from my social scene and began to focus on healing. It was about this time that my life was opened to plant medicine ceremonies. I began to do the work, through the guidance of these healing plant spirits, to heal myself. During these experiences, I began to swim through the illusions and realize that I was not the darkness itself, as it so often felt. Rather, my light and power had been diminished so greatly by the, well, the shit that I had experienced, allowed, and accumulated throughout my life. In so many ways, this realization caused its own turbulence as I began to judge myself for allowing that to happen to me. I wasn’t the powerful, confident witch/goddess/divine feminine I once was. I had given my power away and had lost my voice. How the fuck did that happen?
At any rate, these plants helped me to shed some of my pain/trauma/angst/attachment/self so that I could see a bigger story being woven around me. I experienced being an outcast for lifetimes during a past life regression. In the middle of night, my ancestors came to me with the pain and judgments of our lineage. I began to see, understand, accept, and to heal. And in that healing I cried, I purged (lol, delicately at first, and then more heroically as I stopped being so self-conscious). I rid myself of so much baggage I no longer needed to carry. I shed layers upon layers of masks that I had built to protect myself. Instead of a prisoner caged in darkness I became a seed planted in the darkness of Earth’s womb. And I was learning to nurture the light I now knew was within me.
Over a decade had passed before I began to understand what the saying We are light beings meant. I had to battle the dark to understand that I was made up of light, and that was why it was a battle to be dwelling in such painful darkness. I was exploring my shadows to learn how to be brighter. I have only just begun to scratch the surface of what it means to embody this.
We are literally beings of light
“Spirit is light. As spirit beings, we are literally made of the high-frequency energy called light. Science today is telling us that even our cells emit light when they perform their functions. Neurons in the brain and spinal nerves have been found to produce photons (tiny particles of light that influence our very atomic structure) when they send impulses to each other, communicating through light. Light channeled by microtubules in the tissues helps activate different parts of the brain faster than nerve synapses can do the work. We are truly astonishing and miraculous creatures … of light energy!”
As I mentioned, I’m only beginning to understand what it means and what it feels like to embody the idea of being a light being. My morning chakra toning meditation has been instrumental in experiencing and exploring this. I could start to feel it.
But I was seeking a deeper understanding of what it meant. Several times a book called the Energy Codes by Dr. Sue Morter had crossed my path. In it, she discusses how we struggle to be/see/embody our energetic selves because we no longer have the circuitry to perceive this aspect of ourselves. This reminded me of something Dr. Andrew Gallimore had said about the molecule DMT, said to be the spirit molecule, that it shifted the receptors in our brain so we could receive data from a different dimension/realm/?? that is always around us. It’s like changing the channel on a TV. It clicked in me; so I started reading the book and came to the quote above about photons.
According to Wikipedia, a photon is “The photon is a type of elementary particle. It is the quantum of the electromagnetic field including electromagnetic radiation such as light and radio waves, and the force carrier for the electromagnetic force. Photons are massless,[a] and they always move at the speed of light in vacuum, 299792458 m/s.”.
Dr. Sue Morter’s explanation (quoted above) about at our root we are photons creating light through living and by being conscious beings. We are producing light within ourselves in every moment. We’ve been hearing fireworks as we near the Fourth of July and it makes me smile thinking we have the most brilliant light show going on within us every moment. It may even rival a STS9 show.
Additionally, the idea that we are so out of practice with existing in our light that we don’t even have the wiring anymore made sense to me too. And it feels empowering to work with the light energy, creating new wires and circuitry within my body to enable me to fully embody my energetic self. I highly encourage you to check out her work … it’s pretty powerful.
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